For as long as i can remember, i started with something like this,
Before start putting words i have to put the date and the condition of weather on the top right corner of each page, then,
- First para -
This morning, i woke up to a sunny day. I went to school, I met this new friend, she is the girl at school who thinks she's the boss her name is Alison, but i hate her a lot because she didn't want to talk with me.
- Second para -
During the lesson i forgot to bring my textbook hence i got punished by teacher. So now i started to hate her. During my recess time, I got no enough money to buy the foods i like so i took one sandwich from my friend's tupperware, She cried, and again, i got punished by the same teacher. Her name is Sally, now i hate Sally also. I hate everyone today.
-Third para -
Came back at 7pm. Mom scolded me because i turned on the tv without asking for her permission. I cried. I went back into my room and started to do my homework. I brushed my teeth at 9pm. And now ready to sleep. Good night.
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And until now i really can't imagine what my mom would find of interest reading all the things of her 4 year-old-kid who writes down things that make no sense at all.
My content is always full of different language, i campur huayu and sometimes BM because i literally fucked up all the languages since i was little i don't even have a proper language to speak because, to explain in my defence, my dad speaks england and know nuts about mandarin when my mom is the total opposite, i speak cantonese with some of my relatives ( dad's side all england and hongkong la) and i speak mandarin with most of my friends in primary school and i speak malay with my indonesian maid who used to take good care of us. Basically my each language speaking is quite koyak. #somalaysian #rojak
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In life's toughest moments i have always found solace by putting them into words then from here I simply got addicted to writing down things happened to me each day. And then it transformed into poetry so sometimes my journal is like a half poetry. I've never shared my deep and personal thoughts and i don't think i could ever open up my heart to anyone anyway, simply cause i don't reach out much and afraid of own emotions. Hence, the journal.
I started my own journal once but my innate laziness took over. After a several times especially when i was break and crumble and i have no way to express it out, it crashed, and then started again then until this point of time i kept writing and writing because my friends were too busy for me to even listen what i have to say, you guys are still my favorite, nonetheless.
Growing up I have journaled extensively in different languages and it ended up too messy and too many of it i was running out of place to keep and thinking of dumping every damn one of them because really it is, either you keep, or you throw, because those are the damn things that should remain private and better left unread or unknown.
Then i started to express my own by typing it out ( PC was the only thing i frequently used back then after high school ) I put all sorta rubbish in the page then saved it in my private folder. It turned out to be, i wrote a shit loadsssss more than usual because it just easy access i can just write whenever i feel the need to. I write a lot but still doesn't mean i'm a good at it. Major overrated to call myself a writer not to mention a 'blogger'. Everything written here in my page ( but then they call it a blog ) is solely my self expression. I'm not good enough to write to educate people like any of the other bloggers do and i am not even one of them. I started my own page blog solely because i write for myself. I never struggle even for a second to get blog readers and couldn't careless about the blog traffic because i'm not updating my blog in the hope of getting more people to read, i update a new post occasionally simply because i see it as my own page to express whatever i need to and of course i'm aware of my content might go public ( because i didn't do anything with the privacy settings ) so i will always choose carefully which one should be published and which should remain in draft.
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Oh there's one thing I enjoy reading back all the provoking conversations with myself in the journal particularly those written by one furious enraged bitch bitching about people that challenging her limit making her blood boiled just to live with it. Then the next thing i'll laugh my ass off reading all the badwords ive frantically put in each line, one best natural cure for anger, quite helpful ley. #soorganic #LOL
There are many types of bloggers with different styles out there providing the best up to date knowledge content and effortlessly drive traffic to their blog. And mine? Again is nothing but a personal journal writing all my own stories and experiences for myself ( and sometimes share it with my friends ) to read back sometimes in the future laughing back the terrible grammatical errors and sentence arrangement i have made during the past. It really helps a lot in lighting up my heart writing down all the bad things happened in the past and also the hard time and feelings i have been through to know how i have coped with it and made it this far to reach where i am right now.
Cut the crap and reaching the final to conclude everything, I ain't no blogger and no writer who's good at putting extraordinary content in the page to create any WOW-some effect. In fact ME is no one who only update my page blog with my own stories unless i post shit loads of pictures after my every single trip to share with everyone my experiences and all the awesome pictures i take throughout that particular trip!
Peace out !
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