Sentiment

As much pleasure i've found being alone, I begin to wonder if that's the only way that could set me free from emotional clutter. I can never get rid of anything i once belonged so easily, it's not impossible, though,  just a little hard for me and i usually take longer time than a normal people does. I'm still keeping the cute little blue eraser from my student when i was a part time tuition centre teacher 6 years ago (when i was 19), I'm still keeping that note book from a guy that once sitting next to me in the class, struggling to even write on the first page. I'm still keeping that small teddy bear i once bought for my mom when i was wearing the dark blue uniform that she somehow returned it back to me when i gave her as a birthday gift. I'm still keeping my broken glasses ( three pairs in total ) i used to wear during primary, secondary school, and college. The feeling of grief always return on the death anniversary of my lovely dog buddies or other special things that trigger those memories. (Hey it ryhmes!) Just can't bear to part with them although there's no specific attachment to particular thing. Its hard to discard things that have even a slight meaning to me, to that extreme that I feel sorry the moment i need to discard and replace my lenses after using for a month. Not sure if that's a habit or me being sentimental keeping my life cluttered.

*******

I began wearing this yellow string around my wrist three years ago and it holds a memory that's considerably precious to me. I was having a real hard time cutting it off after so many years not because what people believe of the magic power that gives protection and brings luck. Well it was given to me by someone and it feels as though i'm tossing out the memory and the past if i ever get rid of it.

This day, i have no idea how it fell off on its own when i didn't realized until a few minutes later its been dropped on the floor. How could this possibly happen when it's not being pulled from the hand or made of some materials with weight that come off easily. I guess god is helping me with the decision making as my sentiments have left me undecided for so long. In life we often struggle and eventually give up and wait for some miracles to happen. But this is totally opposite in my case. He is just giving me a helping hand to redirect my mind from being stuck in the dark storm finding my way out. I'm relieved to have this problem solved. It marks an end of what should be over by now and should start making the present count.

Stop worrying. If you're stuck while making a move, someone will always there giving you a pat on your back leading you the way you meant to be.

So now, tell me,

Should i throw it away, or no? 

And now i know,

I'm still being the same old me.