If you can't be bothered to read it until the end, then don't. My post is gonna be so negative and i don't wish to spread this emotion around to cause you any unease feeling.
Something happened to me this day that triggered an upsetting memory. Feeling so panicked and disoriented at the same time, I punched myself repeatedly at the head feeling numb to the pain.
True enough ( and i won't deny it anymore ) that let go is the hardest thing to learn in life.
It's nearly impossible to calm myself down like an animal got trapped in a cage. Felt the need of having a knife to cut myself, I finally breakdown and cried hiding myself in the nearby washroom. You don't want to embarrass yourself by doing it in front of public.
And here, let go can be of anything, be it your partner, your career, you dream, happiness.. Only of it means a lot to you, like myself, i end up being stagnated and can hardly move a step forward with something holding me back. I've been telling around that it's not right to associate your feelings, your failure your triumph with just this one thing or rather someone but now it seems that i find it hard to pull apart this invisible string that have my past and present tied together. It's kinda sad to find myself at the end of my rope with utter mess each time i wake up to the new beginning.
I'm silently sliding backward, something that i have acknowledged since day one but can't help to change.
Don't assume, this is nothing to do with my relationship or whatsoever close to it.
Nothing is worthy of concern other than my own happiness.
But the problem is, i'm lost, to find the starting point...
Something happened to me this day that triggered an upsetting memory. Feeling so panicked and disoriented at the same time, I punched myself repeatedly at the head feeling numb to the pain.
True enough ( and i won't deny it anymore ) that let go is the hardest thing to learn in life.
It's nearly impossible to calm myself down like an animal got trapped in a cage. Felt the need of having a knife to cut myself, I finally breakdown and cried hiding myself in the nearby washroom. You don't want to embarrass yourself by doing it in front of public.
And here, let go can be of anything, be it your partner, your career, you dream, happiness.. Only of it means a lot to you, like myself, i end up being stagnated and can hardly move a step forward with something holding me back. I've been telling around that it's not right to associate your feelings, your failure your triumph with just this one thing or rather someone but now it seems that i find it hard to pull apart this invisible string that have my past and present tied together. It's kinda sad to find myself at the end of my rope with utter mess each time i wake up to the new beginning.
I'm silently sliding backward, something that i have acknowledged since day one but can't help to change.
Don't assume, this is nothing to do with my relationship or whatsoever close to it.
Nothing is worthy of concern other than my own happiness.
But the problem is, i'm lost, to find the starting point...
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