Friday, April 18, 2014

The thing that gets thrown away

I used to think you're more than a colleague to me because the way we talk and share secret and stuff like that until the day you started to bring out the same topic that makes me incredibly angry. To be a true friend you should not be calculative weighing each and every word or action to benefit you. Instead, they trust, support, care and love each other. 

I remember last year we got into a pretty heated debate about this same old issue.

And until now,
Still, you aren't happy that i never have to work odd shift which normally ends at 2 or 3 midnight.

I came out with a few reasons and had a long discussion with my company before, they agreed. So they approved.

So who are you to disapprove? 
Are you my manager? 
Are you paying for my job? 
And...are you going to offer me a ride going home midnight?

First, of course you wouldn't care because you are a guy. Not straight though, but still having a lower risk to involve in danger. Unless that bad guy is gay too.

Second, do you expect me to take a cab all alone in the middle of night?
I'll be damned to have someone pick me up in the middle of night when they are sleeping soundly at this time.
You know what, It's kind of wasting my time telling you all these because we are at the same level, or maybe, a little better than you.

" Why would you be worried for taking a cab alone? You can anyhow claim back the fares from company wert. "

Such a ridic statement.

Excuse me sir, sorry, bitch, thing you don't seem to grasp here is that, the safety issue i'm all the while concerning. I'm sorry you're insensitive to security issues or maybe, don't even have money for the daily newspaper delivery into your house to know that our security has greatly deteriorated. Ok, i forgive you.

Can you be 100% sure that my safety can be guaranteed?
That's the reason i'm having the privilege of not having this shift because not everyone's brain dead like you.
I've brought out this issue and had a real long talk with my manger in his room not too long ago, he agreed and frowned at the same time so i offered a better option to avoid further politics.

"I don't mind taking the whole night until the next day morning at least i feel safe to go home by train."
Thanks to my scheduler, and i know it's been hard for you with the accusation of being bias yet trying every possible way to not putting me in any of the odd shifts.

So the-same-level-yet-calculative-not-straight-guy replied :

"No you can't because i have already tried working the whole night it has to be fair and square you need to know how it feels like going home in the middle of night."

Forgive me i can't really tell if you're being serious or joking when all i feel like is throwing bricks to your face, but one thing i can feel sure, you're having the worst attitude being one of the gays as compared to my other friends.

I have a number of gay friends with a girl mindset but they are well aware of the responsibility to protect a real lady. They would make sure i'm safe to be home whenever i go out with any of them. 
Even a girl, just an acquaintance, would offer to give me a ride when it's too late knowing that i have to take train all alone to get home.

I just don't know how to react with the reply i got from you. I was in anger but never intended to show because nobody would want to repeat the same thing to someone who is not smart enough to digest and accept.

Just a waste of time.

It's so pathetic of having a friend like you. I hope you never have to read this. If you did, you are always welcomed to throw a bunch of questions with anger to my face, it's either me being too nice again and explain with my wide but crooked smile, or i'll completely burn the bridge in between.

Or, you can choose to act like you never read this post but you should know you have already put a nail in my heart and things will never be the same as the way it started.

Sorry for purging my emotions onto my page filled with rage and hatred.

Stop pushing my button to it's limit.
I am not gonna just roll over and let you shut me down. 
Mind your business and your performance.


IF you are very persistent about this, to have everything to be fair and square, 
I guess it's time for me to propose another better option to the higher authority.




Remember.




I'm always smarter than you.

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