Weird, it just weird to have this thing happen today in this afternoon when i was about to take a nap after
coming back home.
Things are changing, slowly but surely.
Or maybe in my case, i need more time than a normal people does.
This idea came across my mind and subsequently forming a chain of imagination to an ending that always been a wishful thinking of my own. I'm just lacking of the gut to do so fearing that my hope get turned down and going back to the desperate state of mind like the way i once felt. Then it's going to be so annoying having to deal with all the negative emotions again that will never give you a return quite like when you sacrificing your startup. I hate it when i need to write, because that's the only best way for me to express when i have no one there to talk with.
With this stupidity comes great consequences. I'm not sure what i've just done is right or wrong but one thing i'm sure that it causes everything back to square one, the feeling just comes back without any sign of warning. I'm so tired, mentally exhausted and drained, hoping it will only be for this night...
As for the stupid thing i thought i've done, i didn't want to talk about it because it makes me feel so silly right now i wish i could rewind the time back to stop that from happening.
Which is too late now..
Now, i need some happy pills to smile.
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