tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49453521434781699572024-03-04T21:25:17.670-08:00JessycarcherJChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.comBlogger328125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-46231275773915298982017-02-03T21:37:00.000-08:002017-02-03T21:37:30.000-08:00Hello 2017 A slow and windy morning. Waking to the sound of bird chirping on the big, comfy cloud before his alarm goes off. Wrapped in a blanket and watched the bright ray of sunlight peak through the glass window as I began pulling the curtains while I know I am blessed beyond blessed beyond blessed beyond blessed beyond measure, again, to be able to get a peaceful night's sleep for another night. <br />
<br />
The stress-free days like today are absolutely the best, with his gentle snoring at my side. Touching him softly on his cheek and he stirred in his sleep as I kissed him on the lips. <br />
"Good morning darling." He whispered.<br />
<br />
******<br />
<br />
The past year has been an absolute whirlwind, and I am eternally grateful for all the wonderful things I've been given even when times are tough. I thank god for the things that went wrong, for me to learn the way to fight discouragement with appreciation, and most importantly learning to live my life a quarter mile at a time - the best way to guarantee a day of happiness. <br />
<br />
When you're racing along the road at 180 km/h focusing too much on reaching the destination you don't have time to notice the details in your surrounding landscape. I love everything that I have been given, but sometimes we have to remember to pause, and remember all the good things we have when life gets hard. Things in life don't go exactly as planned. It's in these moments we need to stop taking things for granted, and breathe. Take a minute for the things you're blessed with, find the things to be thankful for : Love, Health, Family. <br />
<br />
Hopefully I'll come back with more updates on my life in 2017. <br />
<br />
Till then, <br />
<br />
Me <br />
<br />
<br />JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-33728980860379271642016-08-23T02:32:00.000-07:002016-08-24T02:25:35.585-07:00THOUGHTS : INNER PEACE<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve always
wanted to start something new without myself being around. When I mention ‘myself’
in the sentence, I mean the ME who have lack of motivation and full of self
doubt in making the first move to give something new a try. Like, anything, Literally.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was
brought up to believe that everything happens for a reason. God always has a
better plan for us when things fall apart. But then, plans don’t matter, execution does.
Nothing will happen with an idea or a great plan if you are not able to execute.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s so
pathetic, I could have a long list of dreams and all gone in a second thinking
of how comfortable already I am hiding into the four walls and one roof I put myself in over
these years. It feels like, I’m in a haze feeling like there’s
no place in this world where I can belong. I might as well just sit and wait for
another opportunity to come. Can anyone relate?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m still standing at the start line of a race when everyone else almost
reaching the finish line. People are changing, they are evolving as they
reaching, at least they are going forward into the future they dream to have. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Then, to feel
good about themselves everyone’s trying every possible way to hide their own
faults and insecurities, including their true-self by making everyone else
around them less than they think they are. So we lie. We lie about every single
thing that would potentially make us feel less of a person. No one likes the
idea of being defeated. Everybody wants to win, wants to be on top of others living
up to the standard of society. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Reflecting
upon this year I’m literally wasting my time because all i know I’m not learning anything
new - Or maybe i'm the one who don't take any initiative to make a step forward. I’m turning 28 and my life looks nothing like I expected – uhh how I finally
woke up from living the wrong life. Sometimes we should just allow our
intuition to guide us, forgetting about the reality, knowing that there must be another way out
when things doesn’t go your way. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Then it dawned upon me - If you don’t
get something you wanted or you thought you deserve, then try your luck
elsewhere - Just because everyone sees the same person differently. There’s certainly
something about you is what other people looking for even if there’s a few disapprove
of you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> Well, it seems </span></span>Ive had a
bunch to learn on inner peace, and im still learning.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Till then...</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFXJliO-6wNRD-a3tBNgfYqwN5VqihfHUCoAuwBYfvnh1FTl0bvdj_qb5iBlcvkvC1rBDfzd6nMNVhfRECExDhjfP__zSBA_SzBMCfc0XvrRwgEBBCGJa7Gh63JgJwXNn_S4olwTDiojcK/s640/blogger-image--373869986.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFXJliO-6wNRD-a3tBNgfYqwN5VqihfHUCoAuwBYfvnh1FTl0bvdj_qb5iBlcvkvC1rBDfzd6nMNVhfRECExDhjfP__zSBA_SzBMCfc0XvrRwgEBBCGJa7Gh63JgJwXNn_S4olwTDiojcK/s640/blogger-image--373869986.jpg"></a></div><br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-39326357157664663862016-07-16T18:24:00.004-07:002016-07-16T18:24:57.924-07:00THOUGHT : RANDOM <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">It's 5.30 am. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">After 6
hours of sleep, i am welcomed by sparkling moonlight glowing in the dark and the promise of a
beautiful morning to kick start my day. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 10.5pt;">Thank
God for the gift of another good night's sleep. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">If i
choose to shut my eyes to the things happening around me, THAT FEELING
still uncontrollably seeps in. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">But
then I believe that if I am too small to make any sort of
lasting change for my comfort,</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">I'd
choose to just rely on my gut feeling and let go of
the incessant worry.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">Then i
realized, </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">It
starts with me. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 18.9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 18.9pt;">So I
start with myself, finding
what anger and disappointment lives in me and eradicating
it piece by piece. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">Gradually,
things start boiling inside me. I'm burning up with anger when i finally
express my emotions, then it explodes. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">Otherwise,
resentment continues. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">I often have a very long thought provoking conversations with
myself.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">I
thought i was wrong, then no, i was right, but then again, maybe i was wrong,
but then i realize again i am certainly not the only one who'd end up reacting this
way to a situation that's happening. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;">Well, I've
had a bunch to learn on inner peace. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As for
now, let's continue to be grateful for being able to sleep soundly
for more than five hours every night. </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-size: 10.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-66276503035694890502016-04-20T01:41:00.001-07:002016-04-20T02:07:22.889-07:00ONCE I WAS 7 YEARS OLD, ONCE I WAS<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Once I was
7 years old, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was like some other kids who dread going to school pretty much
every single day. I remember I have this one girl in my class, since I will always
consider the one I spend my most time with to be my “best friend” but I’m
pretty sure I was not hers. I couldn’t remember the details of why she didn’t feel
the same and yeah it’s true that she was the one I first met and made friends
with in the class but doesn’t mean that I have to borrow or rather “give” her whatever
new stationery I kept in my small little wooden pencil box that I find it too
cool for a student at my age. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I hope all the mosquitoes come and fly at your ear with their high pitch annoying buzzing sound every night when you sleep.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Once I was
7 years old.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Once I was
10 years old, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My teacher told me, “ Stop being violent or you’ll be grounded
for the rest of the year”. During my first 3 years of primary I was with this
teacher who didn’t quite like me and I got grounded by being ‘violent’ – yeah you
read it correctly - just because I was having a small fight with this girl who ‘borrowed
and later claimed that it’s hers’ my black mechanical pencil my mom bought for
me a day before. I ended up sitting in front of the class at the top left
corner which I don’t think it’s a logical move for punishment, never. Imagine
when we were told to copy down whatever written on the blackboard. No, I didn’t
get my pencil back and will never be.</span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I still remember your name you little thief and and i'll keep it until the judgment day comes. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Once I was 15 years old, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was the one that being picked on during my first 2 years
in this girls highschool, probably because I don’t have this chubby face bigger
eyes good grades or whatever you need to have to get popular in school – I have
crooked teeth with braces, old school glasses with the string attached to each
side, somewhat 'burnt'' yeah i mean dark, very skinny, and very tall. So again I made friends with this girl who was
sitting next to me in the class whom I considered as “my another best friend”
which I later found out her sister was one of the biggest gangster in school
that everyone scares to mess up with. As how the dramatic scene often shown in
the movie I was threatened by her sister to beat me up because she received a
complaint from her sister aka “my best friend” that I didn’t buy her the zodiac
tarot cards that I WASN’T even asked to. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">If this can
be an issue try la imagine my life getting stuck with her in the same class for
the good 3 years.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Go take the elevator to the 15th floor and jump. Please.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Once I was
20 years old, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Everybody told me “You’ll be meeting your first love when you get
into college.” Trust me, 5 years of being stuck in the girls school is beyond
enough. I became a different person and the centre of attention for some reason
when I first joined. I started wearing
contacts, kissed my braces goodbye, re-gained my lost confidence by being
selected as top 10 finalists for whatever event they were organizing during my
first year in college. Lucky bitch. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Finally, my
time has come. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ive learned
a new thing during my life in college. If
there’s no chemistry in between, there isn’t. Don’t feel sorry for all the guys
you have ever rejected. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Made
friends with a lot of interesting people, showered with love, attention given
by friends ( hurm I mean all my crush ). Yes, I love my college life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When i was
24 years old, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I always had that dream, to go live and work abroad all by my own, cause I know
I love going outside travelling all around the world to feed my curiosity, again yes, by myself. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The first
heart break is always the worst, I’m so glad I’ve experienced it because as cliché
as it may sound, what doesn’t kill you by all means making you grow stronger.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Soon I’ll
be 35 years old, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Im still learning about life, wondering if I will end up sharing
my future with the one that I love, wondering if I ever had opportunity to
spend my new year eve counting down in NYC watching the Time Square balldrop
while kissing the one I love as the snow begins to fall from the sky. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Soon we
will be 50 years old,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">my best friend once told me “ we will still go for a
morning jog every morning or we will be getting free breakfast from those who
bail on us. “ Girls I hope you are sure and you remember our promises as we get
older.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Soon I will
be 60 years old, </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I wish you can still put your arm around me and give me a kiss
on my forehead like how you did for the first time, reminiscing about the good
old days we have shared on the front porch of our little house with our grandchildren running
and chasing each other as the sky slowly turns dark. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Soon I will
be 60 years old <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“ Will you still be mine when we are both 60 years old ? “<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Once i was 7 years old.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That's my version of 7 years.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">7 years - Lukas Graham</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-83285800347992250122016-03-19T00:42:00.000-07:002016-03-19T17:55:16.125-07:00THOUGHTS : PERCEPTION VS REALITYWords will never be enough to describe the feeling i'm having inside at this very moment.<br>
<br>
Nestling in an amazing coffee shop,<br>
yeah, by myself.<br>
I love to be alone still, something that's hard to do when you're busy with work and him.<br>
So today i'm left to my own space,<br>
To-finally have time to breath for a minute.<br>
<br>
****<br>
<br>
I awoke to a peaceful morning,<br>
Knowing that i have this whole day to myself,<br>
I took my time, i relished.<br>
Most importantly,<br>
I revived.<br>
<br>
Flashing slowly on and off,<br>
With a cup of my favorite morning refreshment at this small little corner of the shop on my own,<br>
I sip, and think.<br>
Immediately i'm hit by a series of thoughts that drag me into the reality,<br>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;"> Did the reality perceive the same as the world i thought i lived in?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br></div>
You fear of being weird, being left out when you can't follow the crowd or fit into their box so you spend your life trying to fit in, doing things against your will trying to please others, giving them the generic responses to receive approval from the society you wish to belong to.<br>
<br>
So you sacrifice yourself,<br>
To live in their dreams,<br>
You change yourself.<br>
You created this monster out of your own and continue to create more to be accepted and survive in a place you think how the world thinks we should be.<br>
<br>
You created this whole thought where they didn't like you because they thought you were boring, stupid, not special.<br>
<div>
Now you're worried.</div>
You try to be that person you feel you should be so you try every possible way to blend in to be part of it.<br>
<br>
You refuse to be yourself.<br>
You have no self-confidence to do anything.<br>
You're not proud of who you are.<br>
You don't see yourself as good enough anymore.<br>
You feel less and less of everything.<br>
You want to be smarter, prettier, slimmer and better in some way to shine through the others and most importantly,<br>
To be accepted.<br>
You're restricted,<br>
You're tired of acting like one of them when you're not and you ruin it all in that moment.<br>
You feel the pressure to fit in the crowd.<br>
You just can't be the person you want to be because of the environment they grow up in and those things they are born with you have to live without.<br>
You know to that certain extent you gotta accept that you can never become the person you wish to become.<br>
<br>
Is it me myself who's creating all these perceptions of reality?<br>
Or is it what reality really is from how we perceive it to be?<br>
<br>
<br>
What am i and what do i live for?<br>
<br>
<br><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuE1HgqfrDvp_UAfr471t2plRKTZlnjDtIKsfffQrBuAGosilGPbkKd6NF_HfeRRQ8BTtZlsTOaRF0jNbLRBOSahRa9mU-B-tgfVMdNtmDtWlKxvDbQJqhdrlpwOxGk5ouDPXMRBEqvCOh/s640/blogger-image-54756178.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuE1HgqfrDvp_UAfr471t2plRKTZlnjDtIKsfffQrBuAGosilGPbkKd6NF_HfeRRQ8BTtZlsTOaRF0jNbLRBOSahRa9mU-B-tgfVMdNtmDtWlKxvDbQJqhdrlpwOxGk5ouDPXMRBEqvCOh/s640/blogger-image-54756178.jpg"></a></div>JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-81675183681227841052016-03-01T00:25:00.003-08:002016-03-01T00:25:25.712-08:00THOUGHT : COMPARATIVE FEELINGS Again, someone shared something to me tonight and that somehow triggered a strong memory. This is so exhausting and it bothers me a lot i want to just keep my life simple and not think about what i could have done to change things from the past. I wish i could stop time. Truth is, it will never be again what it was. The thing is, he made it hard for me to see the light in myself no matter how strong and bright they were before. It happens too often, one day you're the happiest person ever and the next day you find yourself feeling so low and hating yourself for whatever reason. It's not the worst kind of self-hatred anyway, but i don't ever want to make comparison and feel like i'm in a haze where nothing is important to me in the current life i'm leading.<br />
<br />
<br />
It's just so hard to keep all the negative feelings at a distance.<br />
<br />
<br />
I just don't see myself as good enough to just focus on what truly matters to me. Instead, i care too much about what's going on around me and as absurd as it may sound, their opinions, and that's a killer weapon that would easily affect the choices and decisions i make in life. Everyone can just easily hate what they don't know, they dislike you, they judge you, and they hate you without any apparent reason. You feel low, depressed, isolated, and you allow your emotions to be affected, you allow it to happen, and it will continue making you feel even more difficult to feel better about yourself, keep thinking of what you could've done to alter things for the better, to what you think it supposed to be after you've wasted all the opportunities and chances to be what you wanted to be.<br />
<br />
Oftentimes we wish to have and be like others, so we compare ourselves to someone who has all the qualities and that kind of life we admire, and we strive to make ourselves achieve better success in all ways.<br />
<br />
<br />
Here, the jealous thoughts and feelings creep in.<br />
<br />
<br />
You feel insecure about yourself, starting to blame yourself. You let your ego get ahead of you, sabotaging your current life forcing and pushing yourself beyond your limits. You're trapped in your own comparative thoughts. You just can't seem to focus anymore.<br />
<br />
<br />
You lose everything, including yourself. <br />
<br />
<br />
You don't know what to do anymore. You achieve nothing in your life.<br />
"If you feel low about yourself you have to do something about it." Rachel said.<br />
<br />
<br />
I hope i have the courage to start all over again and start focusing on myself to what i really want to do.<br />
<br />
<br />
And that's just my own wishful thinking.<br />
<br />
<br />JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-50901670278827234712016-02-16T08:04:00.000-08:002016-02-16T08:06:14.487-08:00THOUGHT : A BRAND NEW 2016<span style="font-family: inherit;">Has it really been 3 months since my last post? Shame on me. Reflecting back on my past year i'm psychologically flooded with memories and emotions, and i have so much to be thankful for. As the days grow even shorter and we are entering the 3rd month of the year, my only hope for this brand new year is to be more persistent in achieving my goals, find balance in my life leaving space for those i truly care about, and stop taking every single thing for granted because as dramatic as it may sound, i'm already 27 i feel like i have wasted my whole life living the opposite way of how i wanted. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Things were so different back then. We can just simply avoid things that scare us believing that we are not old enough to deal with all kind of stress. As we grow older we are afraid of the unknown, and we refuse to change, fear of things being different from how we liked them. I'm not expecting this year to be any different but we shall learn how to start diverting the focus from ego driven perspective to what's truly valuable in life - love, joy and experience. don't obsess about what other people think and feel about you and most importantly, embrace your flaws and accept yourself for who you are. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hope everyone had a wonderful Chinese New Year celebration in their respective corner of the world. </span></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-49237063591950454722015-11-18T20:40:00.003-08:002015-11-18T20:40:40.878-08:00THOUGHT : CONSUMED <div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">At this very moment I feel like having some alcohol in my system. Yes, you heard that correctly. Just because i don't enjoy alcohol as much doesn't mean i don't drink and right now I want to drink for it's effect on me - at least a temporary great relief to my mind.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">I've gone from supremely angry to disappointed to the boiling point i shouted, frantically, like an animal trapped in cage i could hardly be calm myself - i'm triggered, one of the few times i burst out in anger, losing my complete composure and from there i know i am no longer being able to suppress my emotions anymore. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;">But there's one thing's for sure, the unexpected outburst eventually leads to great consequences. </span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I punched myself repeatedly in my head and couldn't find a way yet just to sleep the same night. It comes back to me without any sign of warning. I just want to be filled with good memories and fall exhausted under a sky full of stars every night or maybe it's just my own wishful thinking. </span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hope the sun in shining the moment i'm awake - if only tonight i could sleep.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">As the days grow even shorter, i really want to continue appreciating gift from another day, being grateful for every morning, for possibility, and for every hope that i'm always given. </span></span></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-52478224297065932672015-10-25T00:01:00.005-07:002015-10-25T00:01:51.732-07:00THOUGHT : SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATION<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am very much moody, extremely temperamental you never know
what I’m going to act the next second. I am temporary lost I don’t even know
where I am heading to. For some people I’m a seeker seeking for adventure but that’s
something I portrayed myself as who I want to be. Throughout the past few years
I find myself falling then rising but only to fall again. Truth is, there’s no
actual limitation. The self-imposed limitation is just an excuse to cover up
the failure. Okay that’s enough and so I feel like going out, out to somewhere
else due to some self imposed limitations. In the coming few months though I might
want to just dominantly rely on my guts instinct to every situation I’m going
to face. </span></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-83283448329566046872015-10-25T00:00:00.001-07:002015-10-25T00:00:35.753-07:00BIRTHDAY 2015 - ONE YEAR WISER <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have been blessed by love and wishes from both family and
friends and I’m so thankful for all I have been given for my birthday this year.
From my friend’s text at midnight on the facebook page ( even though I was
already half asleep ), to sweet voice message on whatsapp, phone calls,
birthday celebration and the best part, receiving GIFTS, I just can’t find words to express how
grateful I am for what you guys did for me. And for those who haven’t gotten a
response to your birthday wish on my facebook page I would like to express my
sincerest thanks and appreciation at here for making me feel spoiled and loved
beyond measure. Thank you all. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s been a year of a lot of change. Less concerned with the
bad ones, I have accomplished a few things within this year in no particular
order. Now that I am a year older, hopefully I can be a little wiser to make a
longer list to achieve. </span></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-77790316898221284602015-10-01T01:31:00.000-07:002015-10-01T01:31:11.897-07:00FRANCE - EIFFEL TOWER @ PARISThough my time there was much too short but i have to say Paris is above and beyond the most beautiful city i've been so far. We did not let the rain discourage us from going out to explore more about this city of love. Stepping into this photogenic city especially at night - finally ! - it's pretty incredible how all the good old memories just come flooding in. Thanks Paris for the great memories and a lots of great pictures.<br />
<br />
And also much thankful for the endless daylights allowing us to take full advantage of it to snap these awesome shots.<br />
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Mesmerized by the beauty of this amazing structure </div>
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Always looking for a chance to enter this tower and i would say it's worth going up because you will get an incomparable view and experience of all cities you've been - or at least to me. </div>
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View from the top of Eiffel</div>
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From us running in the rain with the cold wind constantly blows from every direction. Few minutes of bus boarding with a long emotional story sharing while munching a packet of wafer cubes to keep ourselves warm when it's so cold outside. So many amazing buildings that catch our attention occasionally with the raindrops racing across our window. Stopping for lunch on the side of the road when it finally stopped raining...ahh..there's so much more to talk about.<br />
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Thank you Paris for being so awesome to me.JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0Paris, France48.856614 2.352221900000017748.6894645 2.0294984000000178 49.0237635 2.6749454000000177tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-41779470262319093842015-09-28T23:21:00.000-07:002015-09-28T23:21:24.557-07:00NETHERLANDS - MY BEAUTIFUL ZAANSE SCHANS @ AMSTERDAM<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #484848;">ZAANSE SCHANS - </span><span style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #484848; font-family: inherit;">A traditional Dutch village where you can see a large
number of windmills. Such a refreshing place to visit after being dragged
around the city with a camera around my neck so bulky and heavy. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">
<span style="background: rgb(247, 247, 247); color: #484848;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes we just need a little break from the rigidity of
the hectic schedule and social expectations to remember the main purpose of
life - to be happy and to make everyone happy. </span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Please excuse my poor outdoor pictures because there was much rain and the day was gloomy before the sun finally came out during our visit.</div>
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JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-7652563516393679722015-09-28T23:04:00.000-07:002015-09-28T23:04:31.425-07:00GERMANY - COLOGNE <div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Gothic Cathedral of Cologne</b></div>
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This was the first time for a long time that i visited all the magnificent cathedrals including the gothic style Anglican cathedral in Liverpool and the Bath's huge Abby cathedral in this small part of the UK. When flying to Germany and i heard about visiting this Gothic Cologne Cathedral of the city i was really hoping to see something like the ones i have visited few years ago and then it turned out to be even better than i expected.<br />
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Stepping into the Cologne, which is one of the oldest cities in Germany i wish i could stop the time and live in the city for at least a a couple of weeks before moving on to the next. Not only is the view and the structure of buildings is amazing, the weather is calm with a lot of wind too - yeah, my favorite Autumn is here!<br />
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<br />JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0Germany51.165691 10.45152600000005840.943529 -10.202770999999942 61.387853000000007 31.105823000000058tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-16939462008151942492015-09-09T14:18:00.001-07:002015-09-09T14:29:33.226-07:00THOUGHT : DISCONNECTEDNot expressing your true emotions backfires and then you realize you're losing even more than before.<br />
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They start to feel like they can't connect with you as much as they wish they could.<br />
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When you finally open up and express your emotions, everyone's burning up with anger and then, they explode,<br />
<br />
And that's the thing that pushes people away from each other.<br />
<br />
The words cut like a knife, it feels like an attack,<br />
<br />
We close up, and then we become defensive.<br />
<br />
The more we hide the true feelings, the longer time it will take to resolve,<br />
<br />
Or maybe, it can never be resolved.<br />
<br />
Eventually, things start boiling up inside you,<br />
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The resentment then continues,<br />
<br />
to create a further distance in between the two of you.<br />
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#randomthoughtofthenight<br />
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<br />
<i>***</i><br />
<i>3 years ago...</i><br />
" In 3 years time you will be drinking a cup of coffee looking at the same thing with a different perspective and start writing. "<br />
To myself I whispered.JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-19467600064274549622015-08-17T15:30:00.000-07:002015-08-17T15:34:00.848-07:00LIMITED TIME OFFER AT RM50 EACH! PERSONALIZED WHITE T FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS!Ever thought of having a cool quote T-shirt with your own messages that nobody else has or share the same?<br />
<br />
Or..<br />
<br />
Do you want to buy a special gift for someone who has so much love to give?<br />
<br />
And now there's a GREAT WAY to present a special gift to yourself, your friends and family by putting your own messages and quote on the special white T-shirt at only <b>RM50 </b>each !<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">You can: </span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Make your own quote</li>
<li>Put your own messages on the shirt</li>
<li>Just words ( please PM for extra design at 018-2887868, additional cost will be charged )</li>
<li>Delivery within Malaysia Only. Sorry </li>
<li>Select your own color for your fonts</li>
<li>Only 1 font size available depending on how large those fonts printed on the t-shirt</li>
<li>Font styles - Arial, Comic Sans, Helvetica, Times New Roman, Verdana</li>
<li>Shirt material : TRN unisex round neck 100% cotton 160 gsm</li>
<li>Final product will be shown before we place the order</li>
<li>T-shirt will be printed and delivered <b>within 2 1/2 week after the payment is received</b></li>
<li>Postage is not included </li>
<li>WM : RM8 EM : RM15 </li>
</ul>
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View here for more sizes : </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJBBFJ-jRRX6ivV8h7-n3GgwmhH1JNjcfdoeSYXGiNERXHPBUtn8GFvI9NU9FMTxCHspCKELnhTm5wOFs8COH-kW4VjPaf-5VucgxQxdmD8ImGB8X_1iomWNBO1RFB42FMpFD1pq37ghw/s1600/2015_08_18_06_17_32_Immaculate_Round_Neck_Cotton_Size_chart1.png_1001_439_.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJBBFJ-jRRX6ivV8h7-n3GgwmhH1JNjcfdoeSYXGiNERXHPBUtn8GFvI9NU9FMTxCHspCKELnhTm5wOFs8COH-kW4VjPaf-5VucgxQxdmD8ImGB8X_1iomWNBO1RFB42FMpFD1pq37ghw/s640/2015_08_18_06_17_32_Immaculate_Round_Neck_Cotton_Size_chart1.png_1001_439_.png" width="572" /></a></div>
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Please call and WA me for more info at <b>6018-2887868</b> Jessyca Cheong.</div>
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JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-51674903802383581252015-07-20T15:44:00.000-07:002015-07-20T16:08:58.288-07:00THE LONG AWAITED REPLYBecause you stopped being a friend.<br />
<br />
That's kinda hurt,<br />
<br />
I once fell too deep and i found it impossible to shut away the acute feeling of that emotional pain,<br />
<br />
I waited all day and night, only ended up with disappointment that i'm certainly not surprised.<br />
<br />
The last chance i was given, the last chance i have wasted, i can't believe i was actually the one who ran away because of my selfishness.<br />
<br />
Your <a href="http://gm23-iris23.blogspot.com/">blog</a> was all about me and left abandoned after we had drifted apart.<br />
<br />
Finally, the ever dreaded good bye is real.<br />
<br />
I just couldn't get over the fact that it's over.<br />
<br />
But somehow i survived.<br />
<br />
I promised to not linger in the past. Whatever it was that i missed, I choose not to bother anymore.<br />
<br />
Nothing hurts if you don't let it.<br />
<br />
I still wish to see you reply even when it's impossible just because i know you too well.<br />
<br />
And this day, somewhere after 2 years,<br />
<br />
As anxious and not-too-excited-anymore as i was to see the familiar name finally appeared on the screen,<br />
<br />
I smile. That smile that i can't even describe.<br />
<br />
We talked a bit, just a little.<br />
<br />
Deep down I might just be feeling a little gloomy but it doesn't mean that i'm still missing our good old days. I just don't get why it only happens after so many years. But it doesn't really matter to me because the burden that i bear has already long gone. <br />
<br />
At least you still remember me.<br />
<br />
Or because i know i shall not be entirely forgotten.<br />
<br />
A new chapter of my life has just begun. It's like a cycle that repeats.<br />
<br />
I would love for him to write a different ending to this new chapter in my life because i know he can,<br />
<br />
Even when i haven't had much confidence on him just yet.<br />
<br />
But at least, he is the reason that makes my heart smile everyday.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmtt1bAGqiZw794fOBdSZLnR-39hppi1VvFyj5OTt015dX_O7MEk9SZu23ZFvYfrx2U0RfmTVXeHM8BiFRz70FvuIq_sf2wfLW2vWH9kRs7GCZsu-VfzxIUS0_BVOP6XK4GlSC2XJMicN/s1600/The_Long_Awaited_Reply.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxmtt1bAGqiZw794fOBdSZLnR-39hppi1VvFyj5OTt015dX_O7MEk9SZu23ZFvYfrx2U0RfmTVXeHM8BiFRz70FvuIq_sf2wfLW2vWH9kRs7GCZsu-VfzxIUS0_BVOP6XK4GlSC2XJMicN/s640/The_Long_Awaited_Reply.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-33310333044390491232015-07-17T13:07:00.000-07:002015-07-17T13:07:00.315-07:00RELATIONSHIP <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Dating is a time for
people to enjoy knowing and learning more about their partner’s character and
personality without having the expectation on how things should turn out to be.
I prefer to take things slower because I believe it helps making the
relationship stronger by building a strong base step by step from the
beginning.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">*****</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m really stressed out in my relationship when it isn’t
even that solid yet. I don’t have a clear perspective anymore on how much I
really like this person. I’m not sure if
my relationship is moving too fast because I started to feel more and more
uncomfortable with the rules he sets for the relationship. Everyone is flawed,
but to me everything about him is almost perfect to me, if there’s one thing I
really need to talk about, I wish he could tone his speech down a little bit
every time when he talks to me. Still, not a big issue anyway I still love him
a lot. It just that sometimes it’s quite hurtful to know that you’re not as
important as his priorities in life even if it makes sense rationally. I don’t
want it to sound unreasonable but I feel like I’m always second best. I just
feel unimportant compared to his family and his cousins but I’m not saying this
is something bad. Sometimes you just can’t help feeling this way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The more we know each other the more I feel like he always
wants to be on top of things and only like hearing the sound of his own voice
rather than mine and this constantly making me feel less like a partner and making my feelings sound less
important than his priorities in life. It takes two to tango, everyone is
raised differently and certainly their priorities are different and neither of
them should expect change from each other. But again, a priority is depends on
circumstances. I willing to give in anything but I don’t feel the same to him. It’s
not a compromising anymore if you’re the only one doing it and giving him
exactly what he wants without getting what we need in return. I just don’t want
to upset him by telling him what he doesn’t like to hear. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now that i have been introduced into the family, this is
certainly adding more stress and pressure into the relationship because it’s no
longer one side’s feeling that I have to take care of. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes in life we just want to feel better in a
relationship no matter how much you love this person and if they cared and
loved you enough they would spend time listen to you and willing to accept that
you aren’t ready for certain things yet in a relationship. People eventually
leave and find someone better who can make them feel good. </span></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-58829902567926771562015-06-07T02:57:00.000-07:002015-06-07T02:57:41.673-07:00THE BANANA PEOPLE I'm Malaysian born Chinese. I went to the English elementary school ( St.Ronan ) the first four years but i would say Mandarin is my first language since i was being sent to a Chinese primary school and that's when i learned the most of it. I just can never be thankful enough to have the opportunity to pick up a really difficult language as a child effortlessly. I speak both English and Mandarin at home ( my dad is Chinese but he can't speak nor understand Mandarin ) so i am not strong in either language because i don't have a proper one to speak daily since i was little, which, i do not have native-like control of either English or Mandarin. And in this case they regard this as <a href="http://linguistlist.org/ask-ling/message-details1.cfm?asklingid=200315839">semi-lingualism</a>.<br />
<br />
Apparently i notice, most Asians, particularly the Chinese, they have the very strong admiration towards white, western, Caucasian, European or those native English speakers living in the same part of world. There's a lot of Chinese families choose not to teach Mandarin to their children and send them to the English school to make them fully fit into the social group because most Chinese parents are so ethnocentric that they kinda make assumptions and judge other group based on their own limited experience, thinking that people who can speak good English are way more superior to those who don't or even can't. So, they sorta wanna make their children to be "banana-people." People like this tend to think that they are smarter and more capable in many ways as compared to those who can't speak the same language fluently. It's just too sad to know that most of the non-native English speakers are insulted and feel disrespected by others because they are not good at speaking their second language.<br />
<br />
Having said that, it's understandable for those Chinese who are born and raised overseas without having the chance and ability to speak their own language, it just seems a little sad because they lose a sense of belonging but again of course, this is just an individual choice, not all Chinese has to know how to speak and write in Mandarin.<br />
<br />
It's so pathetic to see that there's a lot of people taking great pride in their ability to speak fluent English and these people normally being regarded as "banana-people" - yellow on the outside but white ( western thinking and speaking their language ) on the inside. People just don't realize that English is just part of the tool communication and it doesn't define how smart, talented, great and rich you are as a person in the society. They just afraid to be a loser and want to live up and fit into society's expectation whereas the true losers are those who force themselves to regardlessly follow the rules and leading a unhappy life with the paths they have chosen just to be socially accepted.<br />
<br />
But hey, why not think about this, when you're making fun of someone who speaks broken English, at least they can speak more than one language and they could have more friends than you do.because of their ability to speak more than a language?<br />
<br />
Everyone deserves to be treated equally living in the same society. Never look down on someone based on your own judgement and assumption because of your limited exposure and experience. Instead, learn how to be bigger than yourself by keep learning to improve and be a better person to gain respect of others.JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-90037978077020415042015-05-26T20:04:00.000-07:002015-05-26T20:23:41.793-07:00Rest in Peace, Grandma<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My beloved grandma passed away yesterday morning. The reason why i'm putting this up is because she taught me the most valuable lesson after her death - Never take a single day for granted. I kept thinking there's always a tomorrow for me to visit her when she was in critical condition suffering from pain and probably struggling for every breath hoping to see every single one of us before she leaves. There are some regrets we just have to live with and this is definitely one of them. I didn't get a chance to see her, kiss her forehead and say good bye to her. Here's a lesson to every single one of you who's reading this, just an advice, no matter how busy you are dealing with your life and work, please take some quality time to spend with your family. Good time management is all about work-life balance. Happiness is the ultimate goal in life, and it comes from nothing but the love of your family. No one can wait forever. Please spend more time to show your appreciation before it's too late.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Popo, you will forever be missed and loved.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I love you, grandma</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And, I miss you so much.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-22517611830603529062015-05-14T12:48:00.001-07:002015-07-20T16:13:24.442-07:00Nape piercing - FINALLY !<a href="http://jessyca-jc.blogspot.com/2013/12/nape-piercing.html">Previous thought about nape piercing back in 2013</a><br />
<br />
***<br />
I feel like going out, I feel like drinking some alcohol to ease the pain i'm having. I'm being all depressed right now when i'm supposed to be happy with my new piercing i have wanted for so long.<br />
Yea, that's a nape piercing i'm taking about, my first surface piercing i ever had. During the process the pain was so acute i could cry. ( or maybe because i have a low pain tolerance for pain ) but no, i'm not complaining about it and i will never regret having it because i have always been absolutely fascinated by the piercing on the nape for no reason. <br />
<br />
Side note,<br />
<br />
Somehow the worst part is not the pain i'm experiencing during the healing process but the pain of being judged harshly by others. I won't let the negative opinions and judgement get me down so easily because i know exactly where i stand and what am i doing. It's not an impromptu decision but the urge has been there for more than a year and during the year i have been weighing all the possible consequences and saving hard for it before I decide to put two permanent holes on my nape to enhance the look of my existing cross tattoo.<br />
<br />
Any piercings will hurt, as for the nape piercing i would say, this is the most painful one i got because the needle is inserted directly to your skin without the numbing spray like most of the piercer out there will use for any types of body piercings. I was asked to lie down on my face and before they start inserting a needle the area will be first sterilised. I was so worried about not coping with the pain but I put my full trust in Frankie as he said he will try his best to minimize the pain as best as he could. In case you don't already know Franky Ng he has a fantastic reputation is the most recommended certified piercer in KL and i'm really glad to call him my friend. The pain was relatively intense than the previous old school method ( using a clamp and piercing needle ) but for my case, to lower the chances of infection and rejection the needle was inserted and here you will feel a sharp scratch ( the pain only lasted for 2 seconds ) and being pushed and taken out from the exit point before they put the flat surface bar in. I almost cried during the "pushing" part because the needle was being pushed under the skin and i was being told i have thicker nape skin so the process was prolonged to reach another end - same goes to the pain - a bearable pain depending on your threshold. The only thing i feel glad is that as my face was facing down i don't have to see the whole actual piercing taking place.<br />
<br />
To me the process was very painful. The pain subsided as soon as the perforation is done but still the slight pain is there ( skin burning ) whenever you move and it will go on for a few days make sure you take extra care to avoid infection and rejection. The most challenging part about healing is to keep your hair away and avoid hitting it or sleeping on it. Otherwise everything is fine.<br />
<br />
The pain is bearable but the pain of a heartbreak is never that easy to deal with. Apparently my boyfriend dislike this new piercing it just driving me insane when people close to me are not too happy with the things i am doing because i'm all too aware of how every little thing i do affect them.<br />
<br />
It just so sad.<br />
<br />
So piercing, please treat me well and i cant wait until you fully heal. Don't be a bitch to me pretty please.<br />
<br />JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-57612115135522028212015-05-09T13:10:00.000-07:002015-05-09T13:23:22.873-07:00THOUGHT : ANXIETYAnother exhausting post. Probably because of this small part of the world already asleep and i'm the only one still wide awake at this odd hour. People say that it's completely normal to feel emotionally vulnerable when you're alone and this likely to be worst when the night comes. For this I couldn't agree more.<br />
<br />
Because i always have problems dealing with night-time depression.<br />
<br />
For a second i thought i have done dealing with all this shyits that have been going on for too long- i'm wrong. Physically wise I don't feel any less of a woman ( except for my flat chest i get frustrated at times for not being able to fit into my favorite dress ) besides that, i'm happy with what i have to live with or without.<br />
<br />
To contradict myself, oftentimes i find there's so many things around me making me feel bad about myself. I'm just too focused on how i am perceived by others and constantly make changes to live up to that expectation - even if i have to change myself to someone i am not. Especially when it comes to comparing yourself to someone who seem to have it all - that's when you start to doubt yourself, your capability, everything you see, and everything you feel. You question yourself, why do people love you? What makes them stay when you feel absolutely nothing good about yourself? Why are you going through the challenges that others don't have to go through? <br />
<br />
Getting so caught up with your own problems you feel completely low that you totally forget all the wonderful things about yourself no matter how people keep telling you that you're way better than you think - beautiful, smart, capable<br />
<i>they are just too kind to embarrass me. </i><br />
<br />
I forget since when i have become very fond of comparing myself to those i think they have everything i need to feel good about myself. Being so uptight and obsessed with it, i'm now completely consumed with anxiety, dwelling on my own issues and about things that are out of control until the point i feel that i have absolutely nothing in life to live for. I have suffered from severe low self-esteem - I act like i'm strong I just don't want to seem bitter to others. Not only that, i'm having an inferiority complex, the critical stage now since the beginning it gradually moving from stage to stage. I thought getting into a new relationship would help but obviously i'm proven wrong. Oh no don't get it wrongly i love the man i'm with right now but the inner part of myself still battling with depression i just can't help.<br />
<br />
This part of me ( and many parts ) i haven't had the chance to show him just yet fearing it would put a damper on the relationship. Part of the reasons being in this whole new relationship is to save myself from messing my own life even further. I never thought i could fall in love again when i can't even find a reason to love myself for who i am. I lie to myself all the time. I clearly know that i'm not the person i think i am. "<b>You have to be confident to become more lovable"</b>. I'm the total opposite. I'm just getting tired of acting like i'm fine when i'm not. I'm being afraid to thoroughly unfold myself because I don't think anyone can put up with all my dramatic behavior in a relationship -<br />
<br />
Until the day they can't stand it any longer, they leave.<br />
<br />
I was fortuitous that i met the man i'm currently with because he physically and emotionally separate myself from all the things that are keeping me stuck inside my obsessive mind giving me more reasons to breathe and dream again.<br />
<br />
I am guessing that nothing else i could really do other than writing it down to make myself feel a little better.<br />
<br />
They will forever remain in my baggage,<br />
<br />
Until the day i learn how to love and accept myself for who i really am.<br />
<br />
Maybe you see it, you just find it hard to reveal the real me for me to face the reality.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLmysiMXbfd0aSRJFi8DCE78_D2kXpgpTmqq3Y90lkYIB3BnJukaonT9GxeMyPzsySZ6w7FMR55iTnenXy_R26HLAgThQLcvwIBjKKTBDbKoZZHDECStZUheX-u6iox1RXlkhNw5-25dki/s640/blogger-image--1907096488.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLmysiMXbfd0aSRJFi8DCE78_D2kXpgpTmqq3Y90lkYIB3BnJukaonT9GxeMyPzsySZ6w7FMR55iTnenXy_R26HLAgThQLcvwIBjKKTBDbKoZZHDECStZUheX-u6iox1RXlkhNw5-25dki/s640/blogger-image--1907096488.jpg" /></a></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-47825199297731603672015-05-08T13:45:00.000-07:002015-05-08T13:54:22.589-07:00Blessed beyond wordsIt starts getting better and finally i have gotten a moment to breathe from the crazy over-thinking trap that has been my life for these past couple of weeks. I don't know, I'm sorry darling, it just that i got really attached to you i find myself can't afford to lose you. The obsessive thoughts often get in the way when i'm about to reach that point of life where i think i have conquered the deep fear of inferiority but now, sadly to say, i'm here going back to square one without realizing it, once again.<br />
<br />
Toxic thoughts creep in on occasion especially when i'm left with countless hours to occupy myself. It's so pathetic to always need reassurance in the relationship when he has been giving me all the attention i ever need since the first day we called it official ( or not really ? ) Ahh can't help because i'm sure there's nothing i can do about it. Perhaps everything is happening way too fast but one thing is certain - My heart grows fonder towards him when the days grow to be weeks, then months, and maybe years to come.<br />
<br />
What would have happened if we never went to the party the other day?<br />
<br />
It's 4.29am i'm so tired i can hardly think straight right now. I really need a good night's sleep after living in a different time zone for the past one full month.<br />
<br />
3 more hours to go. I wonder if there will be anything new to say on the next post i write.<br />
<br />
To wrap it up, i have to say i'm blessed beyond words to have you being part of my next chapter and the best part for me is realizing how loved i am by one amazing people like you.<br />
<br />
What more could a girl ask for?<br />
<br />
<br />
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JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-41802660823341360902015-04-26T09:20:00.000-07:002015-04-26T09:20:31.754-07:00THOUGHT : CARE-LESSWhy are some people so insensitive in the sense they can say or tell you anything and expect you to not feel bad or get offended because they think they won't feel the same way as you from the things they have to say. You might think you have the right to not care about how others feel but try taking a second to put yourself in their shoes to know how it feels like if people constantly putting you down with the exact same words you're using.<br />
<br />
I couldn't care less about what others might have to say about me but if you consider yourself to be someone somewhat important to me, maybe you should start learning how to weigh your words before you speak.<br />
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Sorry, i guess i just need to let off some steam.<br />
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If only i could care a little less..JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-62156940555689494032015-04-25T16:03:00.000-07:002015-04-25T16:03:45.985-07:00THOUGHT : THE PHONY ME I'm here again tonight, just when i thought i should have by now feeling more better about myself after the short escape from the hermit shell i've been self-confined in - I'm not. I can't really explain that kinda bitter feeling that my heart constantly feeds me, and now, bringing it to a whole new level of inferiority fearing that others might never see me the way as i see myself again. Or, i don't know, maybe i'm just seeing myself as someone people don't see and think the same way i think i am all the while.<br />
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I came across this statement while scrolling down my news feed that got my full attention :<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Look, i can be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and i am.</i><i>I can have the most beautiful daughter in the world, and i have that.</i><i>But, I'm nothing if i can't be me. </i><i><b>If i can't be true to myself, they don't mean anything</b>."</i></blockquote>
<br />
It's not the Bruce Jenner's transformation that i'm all concerned about.<br />
The words just hit the nail to my current thought i can relate.<br />
I just realized i haven't really changed a bit from what i have promised myself to do since long ago.<br />
<br />
I might look detached and not giving a damn about the world but deep inside my heart, i really do, and at times it can be worse. <br />
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Maybe i need to know more about myself.<br />
The first step to start with, is to identify the real enemy, yeah, myself. And now what?<br />
Sometimes i just find myself already at this point where i don't give an F about nothing.<br />
I can't bring myself to deal with doubting myself anymore.<br />
All i ever feel is i have spent this 26 years i've been alive doing all the things to make myself more likable living up to others standard that makes me question myself the purpose of living when i'm starting to lose myself from what i really am - yes, i notice the overly obvious changes i've made to shine. <br />
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I'm all the while living my life blindfolded. I created this own phony world of my own because i don't like the one that i belong to. To gain something, you have to give up something and in my case, i sacrifice my own happiness hoping for something in return. Efforts <strike>sort of </strike>paid off, I'm just being realistic to consistently keep up with the changing expectations of this society until the point i find myself hardly cope with the changing patterns any longer.<br />
<br />
Everything is just...moving too fast.<br />
I'm officially defeated.<br />
<br />
To wrap this up,<br />
I made myself a person the society wants them to be,<br />
I just can't afford to lose myself any further.<br />
<br />
If you found some slight changes on me, better or worse,<br />
Please buy me a present, <br />
That may be a good sign.<br />
<br />
No don't get me wrong, i'm not depressed,<br />
I just need a few shots of tequila to keep me happy.<br />
No, i don't drink,<br />
It just something i could think of to capture my feelings in words.<br />
<br />
I've now got 15 minutes to go before the amnesia takes over.<br />
And I'm now patiently waiting...<br />
<br />JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4945352143478169957.post-12737249533814911942015-04-24T21:24:00.001-07:002015-05-09T15:56:59.378-07:00INDONESIA - Mountain Bromo, East Java<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The second destination - Mountain Bromo Volcano ( a good 5-hour-drive from Mountain Kawah Ijen - the one where we did our hiking and climbing that almost got me killed ) so we basically spend most of our time sleeping in the car since we didnt sleep well during the day.<br />
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<b>Mountain Bromo Volcano</b> is one of the quiet but active volcanoes situated in East Java, Indonesia. Also, this is the must-visit-volcanoes in Indonesia and one of the world's very well known mountains for it's grand landscapes view from the high mountain peaks. Can't really explain it in details to describe the beautiful surroundings that came into view it's just beyond words. Silence would be too boring but this place really has a music all it's own. You just have to stop caring about anything except those things that are right infront of you.<br />
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***<br />
We were told that this mountain just erupted few months ago and this is the most vibrant time of year to visit. How lucky. One thing good about this Bromo adventure, we don't really need to susah payah climb all the way up to reach the top unlike Mountain Ijen that nearly make me appears in the international paper with the subject line : " Hiker went missing during the Ijen Climbing. " Believe it or not I've already prepared the best photo of me for them to use if anything should happen.<br />
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2.30am ( 5'C ) ; It was a cold foggy morning. The morning remained uncomfortably cold i had to wrap my thick layer tight around myself to keep myself warmer. It was only an hour ago before it stopped raining but the wind that was gently blowing after the rain had been cold enough to raise goose bumps as we stepped out of the room. After a quiet night's sleep we awoke to a cold misty morning and trust me, this makes it harder for everyone to get out from bed and by this time, the jeep that supposed to pick us up from the hotel to the Mountain Bromo was already there waiting for us.<br />
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*It was an hour jeep ride up to the mountain and the jeep experience was the bomb.com! First stop, The Bromo viewing platform. Well, too cold and too foggy to see anything. We didn't stay long enough to wait until the sun rises from behind of the mountain when we were expecting to catch the vibrant beauty of the few mountain peaks, with huge disappointment we then headed further up by jeep ride to reach another point of the Bromo area that requires you to climb, haha luckily a bit only PHEW! <br />
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There's many things you can see when reaching the higher part of mountain and we managed to take a few photos when the jeep was moving along the zig zag mountain path reaching the top.<br />
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The dark sky had gone slightly quickly today when the early morning sunlight shone through the fog brighten up this small little corner of this beautiful world. </div>
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Sight-seeing major grand landscapes that didn't include the chirping sound of birds and crickets, breathtaking view, nonetheless</div>
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The next destination ( still within the same area but different spot to view the same mountain from ) </div>
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MEGA MINDBLOWING! </div>
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Lulu : eh why you always smile like an idiot whenever you take photo of yourself ?</div>
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ME : That's the trick to make my face looks smaller. </div>
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Now you know why. </div>
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I hold my breath for way too long i nearly suffocated and die. </div>
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Me conquering the mountain! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOoOLA8DeTbSkfj0g_WcdoOHzj0LXk3F_MePeLmCYfs-xO6tiv5CYIdYM6RT26vMSTZZS5cPCuQ_hUd192ddFs_jeSbMF_l_6lzPC0_M1e1WsZ6h0_FagPov2wS6G3gBQo8UMZisdWNIdC/s1600/P1110509.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOoOLA8DeTbSkfj0g_WcdoOHzj0LXk3F_MePeLmCYfs-xO6tiv5CYIdYM6RT26vMSTZZS5cPCuQ_hUd192ddFs_jeSbMF_l_6lzPC0_M1e1WsZ6h0_FagPov2wS6G3gBQo8UMZisdWNIdC/s1600/P1110509.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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US ! Love them to bits! </div>
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Me and the FnF hidden cast </div>
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Power la using one hand to drive the manual Jeep. </div>
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It was another few minutes drive to a further point where we need to climb the mountain. </div>
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Actually you know what, not too bad because we were given a choice to either walk or horse-riding.</div>
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You surely know which one i will choose. </div>
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Meet my blackie. Quite hard to take a photo while me riding on him. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrijleLRZ8Yhu3pdErwjI_3zlxNYi_6rk4sZtsStXuXk3oc-EJcfvWBvuY0H4J7if1Drnw93oD53D_FFw4MeMwLdBg9pug6JsqopSULWVUtXv_m5Bu3QqduxOARf6YWXY8HKeHWHMG4VPS/s1600/SAM_0765.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrijleLRZ8Yhu3pdErwjI_3zlxNYi_6rk4sZtsStXuXk3oc-EJcfvWBvuY0H4J7if1Drnw93oD53D_FFw4MeMwLdBg9pug6JsqopSULWVUtXv_m5Bu3QqduxOARf6YWXY8HKeHWHMG4VPS/s1600/SAM_0765.JPG" width="426" /></a></div>
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A clearer shot phew finally.! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Blg4NdFHirx9txZG2kxKwQoSi00VRaO4BL7SqllT_rV7KKNFQm0I_hUH6ch7k0ZeIPkI0DOaAcqbhPElTGwS99jFsXwjtVcecxRtoCgECqmOIUIKsUt0WOwER4EwRSQJ8itbNwrb2HMv/s1600/IMG_3989.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Blg4NdFHirx9txZG2kxKwQoSi00VRaO4BL7SqllT_rV7KKNFQm0I_hUH6ch7k0ZeIPkI0DOaAcqbhPElTGwS99jFsXwjtVcecxRtoCgECqmOIUIKsUt0WOwER4EwRSQJ8itbNwrb2HMv/s1600/IMG_3989.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha6RG5jHbJBZ9XYmhYkrw4_EtVxRoCYe-uXBU2NiN7qD7jCV59KZVi35KDu3TBVpDpokcvX5drdhUJFsQpXXcOX2llmPOwC6dxb3E6k2V1_2VMda5-HFPYyVfJQc87WwzKRNN5jEDCElL_/s1600/IMG_3991.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha6RG5jHbJBZ9XYmhYkrw4_EtVxRoCYe-uXBU2NiN7qD7jCV59KZVi35KDu3TBVpDpokcvX5drdhUJFsQpXXcOX2llmPOwC6dxb3E6k2V1_2VMda5-HFPYyVfJQc87WwzKRNN5jEDCElL_/s1600/IMG_3991.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYAtV_7UsnkGGbdfYNWc6nUM2bmFX1cYo6Z-oKASws5zKWpwZdkTZ6vN760MBcf6InphYsHTM8mpq85LtT3r4YhIxkJIFt1owYLCYP8JvzB99B82IY5Q0wxjj9zPpCEygjIrxZsk7CX-oD/s1600/IMG_3995.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYAtV_7UsnkGGbdfYNWc6nUM2bmFX1cYo6Z-oKASws5zKWpwZdkTZ6vN760MBcf6InphYsHTM8mpq85LtT3r4YhIxkJIFt1owYLCYP8JvzB99B82IY5Q0wxjj9zPpCEygjIrxZsk7CX-oD/s1600/IMG_3995.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihSln5Q4c7qyRdQ_XhbvB7dzZ9GTNDg6-CwElqDzbFwZUsOKlN6VCwMhvQjhH4z73denJcktsIp2nL3Ku5-AJR2Jf5LaObHpH9honcBlLx9OhU7dfjFr3a_lc1rh2_7kksPSAOFCRC4qVv/s1600/IMG_3996.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihSln5Q4c7qyRdQ_XhbvB7dzZ9GTNDg6-CwElqDzbFwZUsOKlN6VCwMhvQjhH4z73denJcktsIp2nL3Ku5-AJR2Jf5LaObHpH9honcBlLx9OhU7dfjFr3a_lc1rh2_7kksPSAOFCRC4qVv/s1600/IMG_3996.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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That's the mountain Batok ( also one of the tourist attractions ) located just right next to the Bromo Volcano. The greenery of the mountain instantly adding some color to the whole nature landscape to make it more vibrant. </div>
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Just, magnificent. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_qUO4yY2DbcLRkaYQmI7KvP5eZ9CRcPZEznjTlspPTxaRs1sPkC954Uvk9S147W_PL-_bT3d0ToOeyC-4TWDdumFt-PsTHEeoj6ydb_niYOw_3adVGXKMt3sAkiGV7quxTd_VJxNqzXdd/s1600/IMG_3998.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_qUO4yY2DbcLRkaYQmI7KvP5eZ9CRcPZEznjTlspPTxaRs1sPkC954Uvk9S147W_PL-_bT3d0ToOeyC-4TWDdumFt-PsTHEeoj6ydb_niYOw_3adVGXKMt3sAkiGV7quxTd_VJxNqzXdd/s1600/IMG_3998.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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View from the top </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Fh7kQYDaH56ZedFU-8ZjtL__0f9y1w8u3MTJKm3sZLrtbVwsST2bFyiXdBRMq5AutzHOUZrRaiHGLPf3S2a8v_ag02_TQkxqThrXWFgcxi6mUgX2HtNPgECf8OR88MfLA3truVLXtNk-/s1600/IMG_4003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Fh7kQYDaH56ZedFU-8ZjtL__0f9y1w8u3MTJKm3sZLrtbVwsST2bFyiXdBRMq5AutzHOUZrRaiHGLPf3S2a8v_ag02_TQkxqThrXWFgcxi6mUgX2HtNPgECf8OR88MfLA3truVLXtNk-/s1600/IMG_4003.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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The smell of rotten eggs again aiyo buaytahan *Coughing like nobody business </div>
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You know i really hate washing clothes and trust me, this is that kinda smell that makes you want to throw your all your clothes that cost around thousand over into the drain and don't mind spending the same amount of money plus GST to buy a new similar one. </div>
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If you fall, you die. That's it. </div>
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Please catch me if i slip and fall into the volcano hole just right next to me, the big hole quite deep hor. </div>
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This is the hole im talking about.</div>
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Confirm die. </div>
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Ask them come join us they fight and he merajuk pulak haih...Not gonna jio couple to any of the similar trips anymore. Spoil everything LOL</div>
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Amazing panoramic photos </div>
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When you're having a hard time you can try to redirect your mind and thought to the simple things in life and that could involve standing up on the mountain peak taking in the wonders of nature, listening to the chirping sound of birds viewing the wide green field full of flowers. </div>
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At the same time appreciating what you have given in life and continue to be grateful for everything that comes to you. </div>
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Click here to view my Mountain Ijen Adventure </div>
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<a href="http://jessyca-jc.blogspot.com/2015/04/indonesia-ijen-volcano-east-java.html">Mountain Ijen Adventure </a></div>
JChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05623764156827692222noreply@blogger.com0